Kenaitze Indian Tribe

Address

Kenaitze Indian Tribe
P.O. Box 988
Kenai, AK 99611
Phone: (907) 283-3633
Fax: (907) 283-3052

Contact us

Abusive Relationships

FACTS ABOUT BATTERING FOR WOMEN

3 women

Kenaitze Indian Tribe
Nakenu Family Center
110 N. Willow Ave.
Kenai, AK 99611
(907) 283-6693

Contact:
Tribal Advocate for Violence Against Women

The Reality: Native women are targets of violent crimes—battering, rape, assault and homicide occur at much higher rates than any other group of women or men, by both Native and non-Native men.

Abusive Behaviors in a Relationship: Is this happening to you?

Abuse in a relationship takes many forms, a woman may experience more than a black eye or broken bones. The following list of abusive behaviors comes from women that have reported their experiences in abusive relationships. Take a few minutes and see if your partner has done any of the following:

  • frightened you by looks or gestures,
  • slapped you,
  • punched you,
  • kicked you,
  • choked you,
  • pulled you by your hair,
  • accused you of having an affair,
  • needed to know where you are at all times,
  • forced you to ask or beg for money,
  • minimized or denied abusing you,
  • threw you on the floor or against the wall,
  • threatened to kill or hurt your pet,
  • broken or smashed things,
  • displayed or used weapons against you,
  • isolated you from family or friends,
  • put you down; critized you in front of his friends or family,
  • called you names,
  • prevented you from working or going to school,
  • blamed you for his violence,
  • threatened a relative,
  • pressured or forced you to have sex after an assault,
  • put you down or demeaned you as a sexual partner.

Tactics used by abusers are not displays of anger or one-time incidents but part of a pattern of abuse.

Assessing the Danger of Your Relationship

The following questions may help you examine how dangerous your situation is and how it is affecting your life. The number of “yes” answers does not necessarily indicate greater or lesser danger, but answering these questions can alert you to what you may already suspect about the danger of your situation. Remember: domestic violence can lead to death.

Has your partner ever injured you so badly you needed medical attention?

Does he seem preoccupied or obsessed with you? (following you, monitoring your whereabouts, stalking)

Have his assaults or abuse become more violent or brutal?

Do you believe he may seriously hurt or kill you?

Has he killed or hurt a family pet?

Was your partner's last relationship abusive?

Has your partner ever been charged with domestic assault?

Have you separated or tried to separate from your partner in the last 12 months?

Have you sought outside help because of the abuse during the past 12 months? (Order for Protection, shelter, police, counseling, support groups, alcohol or drug treatment)

Do you feel isolated from sources of help? (no phone, family or friends)

Does he have access to a gun?

Has he ever threatened your life?

Has he threatened violent retaliation if you leave?

How Domestic Violence Affects Children

Even if children are not directly involved in the abuse, they are aware that something is wrong. Review the following tactics. This can help you determine if your children need protection.

Has your partner ever:

  • threatened to take away the children,
  • told the children you were bad or crazy,
  • refused to contribute financially,
  • used the children to control you,
  • used them to relay messages that frighten, threaten, or demean you,
  • used the children to make you feel guilty, or
  • refused to care for the children?

Studies show that domestic violence affects children. Mothers reported seeing behavioral changes in their children. Some behaviors exhibited by children may include:

  • reacting with fear, anxiety or numbness when voices are raised or when your partner is present,
  • mimicking your partner's abusive behavior,
  • calling you names,
  • showing significant changes in their behavior:
    • bedwetting
    • frequent illness
    • feelings of guilt that the fighting is their fault
    • agression/becoming withdrawn
    • learning disabilities
    • falling behind in school work
    • constantly wanting your attention
    • dropping out of school
    • running away from home
    • dating violence
    • teen pregnancy
    • using alcohol or drugs
    • gang affiliation or prostitution.

If you identify with the issues outlined here, there are resources available to you. Please see the bottom of the next section for some of them.

Some Things You Should Know

  • Assault is a crime!
  • No one deserves to be abused
  • It is not your fault
  • You have a right to be safe
  • Help is available
  • You are not alone
  • Domestic Violence can be fatal
  • Violence against women is not a tribal tradition

Women Are Sacred

Many women have found hope, healing and a voice. You can find support and strength from other women who have experienced battering. Formerly battered women have said:

“I no longer feel like I'm walking on egg shells.”

“I can breathe.”

“I went back to school, found a job, and can support myself and my children.”

“I feel good again.”

LeeShore Crisis Line
283-7257

National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Twin girls

"Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children."

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

What would a child say to you about domestic violence?

Who is eligible?

  • You are eligible to receive services if you are a Native victim of domestic violence.

If you feel that you are a victim of domestic violence, there are resources available to you. Contact the Tribal Advocate at the Nakenu Family Center.

What services are available?

  • Support
  • Mental Health
  • Limited Transportation
  • Support

This product was produced by Mending The Sacred Hoop Technical Assistance Project under grant number 95-WT-NX-K001 from the US DOJ/OJP/VAWO for STOP VAIW grantees. The opinions and views expressed in this document are those of the author's and do not necessarily represent the office position of the Violence Against Women Office, Office of Justice Programs, or the U.S. Department of Justice.

Copyright © Kenaitze Indian Tribe

Nakenu Building

Nakenu Family Center
110 North Willow Street
Kenai, AK 99611
Phone: (907) 283-6693
Fax: (907) 283-7088

nakenu@kenaitze.org